


What's a cock block?

by moonfairy13



Series: Hermione's Writing Workshops [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, Family, Fred Weasley Lives, Good Weasley Family (Harry Potter), Language, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23313649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonfairy13/pseuds/moonfairy13
Summary: After reading a comment from fanfiction writer Ralina which asked about the definition of an English colloquialism, Hermione again enlists the help of some of the Weasleys to answer this important question.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Fred Weasley
Series: Hermione's Writing Workshops [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467289
Comments: 16
Kudos: 41





	What's a cock block?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ralina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ralina/gifts).



> This one's for Ralina, who writes triad fics involving various pairs of Weasley twins and totally deserves something that's written just for her, even if it is really silly. This is my answer to a question that Ralina asked on a chapter I posted earlier. If you want to see the chapter/fic which inspired the question, it's Salve Amor, and the term/comment appears in chapter 9 - The Wedding.

“OK, we have another inquiry from a non-native English speaker!” Hermione sat down and pulled the latest printout of her fan fiction PMs from her robes. “Moonfairy mentioned cock blocking in a recent chapter of Salve Amor and Ralina asked what that meant. So Moonfairy has asked if I could help explain it, maybe with some examples.”

Charlie let out a snort. “Presumably Moonfairy knows what happened to me then?”

“Well,” Hermione looked over at him and Lauren, who smiled in encouragement. “Yes, I believe the example that Moonfairy gave in her story was my mentioning having heard you accuse Percy of cockblocking you once.”

“So why don’t you just tell her what it means?” Harry looked confused. “Why do we need a committee?”

“Well,” Hermione blushed slightly, “because I only heard Charlie use the word once and I’m still not sure what it means myself, to be honest.”

“You could have asked me,” Fred raised his eyebrows at her, making her blush deepen. Their relationship was still rather new.

“I could,” she agreed. “But what with not knowing what it meant, I couldn’t rule out the chance that it might be embarrassing…” She trailed off, and Fred pulled her onto his lap. 

“You can always ask me anything, love,” he reassured, speaking softly into her ear. “I’ll never embarrass you. Not on purpose, anyway. Promise.”

“Okay.” She leaned up and gave him a small smile as he moved in to kiss her, his hand moving to cup her hip. Their lips met and they both gave a gentle moan.

Fred kissed his way towards her ear and then whispered into it. “Shall we sneak out and spend the afternoon in bed?”

But Hermione jumped at the sound of a loud voice in her other ear, butting in before she could answer.

“Fred! Mum needs you right away to degnome the garden!” Ginny’s shout was so loud that the two new lovers pulled away and Hermione stood up immediately.

“Oh, nice demo, Gin!” Charlie laughed loudly.

“Demo?” Hermione looked confused.

“Of cock blocking,” Charlie grinned. “Tell Ralina,” he indicated to the parchment in Hermione’s hand, wanting to make sure she captured his words and didn’t make him repeat them, “that it’s when someone does or says something that prevents a bloke from getting laid. So,” he laughed, “his cock is blocked from getting to where it wants to go.”

“It’s not always deliberate,” George added helpfully. 

“Yeah,” said Fred. “Like when Oliver called an extra practice that time in seventh year after you had planned to sneak Angie into the room of requirement for the evening… Annoying, but accidental. The ignorant git!”

The sigh was loud and long. “Yeah.” George’s face fell as he remembered how disappointed he had been.

“Or the example that you heard me running on about is when Percy came over to my cabin when I was just minutes away from getting a visiting Russian tamer into my bed.” Charlie turned to Lauren. “Long before you, of course.” He leaned in for a kiss.

“I don’t mind,” Lauren murmured, “As Ralina herself said the other day, being a ladies' man has the advantage that one comes with a good skillset. That's not the worst thing.” She laughed, remembering how much she had agreed with the comment.

“That was a quick one then!” Hermione seemed surprised that she had the answer all written down and ready to share.

“Well,” said Ginny. “Not everything needs to take four hundred thousand words, you know. Even Moonfairy knows that!”


End file.
